Make sure you play some Nine Inch Nails

2011/04/04 § Leave a comment

A long time ago
(okay, some weeks ago), I posted an old text planning my funeral. I recently rediscovered the page where I got the idea for the fireworks – Learning To Love You More. Assignment #51 reads “Describe what to do with your body when you die.” Some of these descriptions are beautiful, creative, fun and I would love to share some of my favourite parts (some cutting might have been done, sorryboutthat. No editing, though!)

I would like to be cremated and have my ashes thrown into a strong wind (or any kind of wind really) without any ceremony, possibly done by the university lecturer who has been fiddling with my dead bits for the past year. I want this to happen not only because I think it’s selfish to take up usable bodies and space when you’re dead but because I have a huge fear of being buried alive.

Listen to Radiohead. Especially “How to Disappear Completely”. Call my ex boyfriends/husbands and tell them it’s all their fault. The tell them you’re just kidding and that doing that to them was my last request. Donate all my money to an English Bulldog Rescue.

I would like my body to be cut up and divided into enough pieces to spread across the world so should some one map and trace the precise location of each piece of me, it would spell out the initials of the only woman I have ever loved.

I want my body to be cremated. I’m not into that whole scatter my ashes everywhere, that’s kind of gross. But honestly, honestly, if someone wants some of my ashes I am in no obligation to say no. Go right ahead. I wanted to be given out in goodie bags. But that might freak people out a little bit.

Cat’s <3

While the boat is being pushed out into the lake, it would be someone’s task to light the tips of some fire arrows. If I die, hopefully it will be a long time from now, and by then Ryan, Shiloe, Adam, and perhaps a few others, will be proficient enough as archers to feel confident that when they shoot these fiery arrows at the wicker boat, they will be able to hit it at least once. They should wait until the boat has been allowed to float out at least a good 40 yards or so. Indeed, anyone in attendance should be allowed to attempt at least one shot, because how often is one given the opportunity to shoot a fiery arrow at a wicker boat containing their friend’s/brother’s/son’s/nephew’s/cousin’s dead body as it bobs up and down on the waters of a beautiful lake at the base of a snowcapped mountain? Therefore, plenty of fiery arrows and bows (not fiery) should be made available.

The other possibility of course is, that someone i loved and who loved and knew me very well will burn me and steal my ashes and bring them to a place i would like.

When I die i want to be burned with wood outdoors, in any weather. And it doesn’t have to be scary. And i want everyone to imagine me as a bird and blow with the wind and my wings will feel the breath and help me escape into oblivion. let go please, for us both.

Crackers <3


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